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What a very lucky girls R is to have her new family. Time helps and heals.....

awwwwwww. I'm so glad to know all of you and have you in my life.



Oh, love. Sara, you are so good. Thank you.

In tears over here. Little R is so lucky to have landed where she can be so loved and cherished as she should be.

It hurts just reading this. The pain you are both feeling must feel so big and unscaleable but it won't last too much longer. Little R has a big, beautiful heart and soul, as big as yours, and that heart and soul will soon recognize you as her mother. She might not forget her birth mother or the bond she feels with her, but she will know where she feels safe, warm and loved beyond compare. She will know who "mom" is. Big, big hugs, Sara.

So much pain and love in the same conversation.

I don't even know what to say, except that I love brutal honesty in prose, in narrative, in life. This is so wonderful. Thanks for sharing such a deep part of your growing family. Little R is so lucky, though not as so as the little girl who now has you calling her 'daughter.'

Oh Sara, this was so sad and lovely too.

Oh, this took the air from my lungs. Painful and beautiful to read.

Someone posted a link to this post in my comments section and I'm so glad they did. You broke my heart but strengthened my will to make a child's life better. Thank you so much.

There is such aching sadness and such huge love in this one post. Thank you for your honesty, for sharing such a brutal and inspiring journey with us. We hope to adopt one day and you make it seem a little more possible.

Thank you for your post. I have had the almost exact conversation many times over the past few months with our 5 year old. People always tell us what "good people" we are to take care of her and her brother. We always brush it off and think... who wouldn't do the same? But in reading your experience I feel understood. You and many others know what it is to be the receptacle for a child's pain and confusion, holding it so she doesn't have too. But oh how quickly that burden is lifted with only a smile, sigh of comfort or giggle from her tiny little self. She said to me the other day "I love you with my whole heart... all at the same time." and skipped away. best sentence ever! hang in there! she sounds like a lucky little girl!

As someone with a mother who didn't know how to make healthy choices and who didn't choose her daughter when it mattered, I remember the pain of being left behind. The thing that's going to save Little R. - the one safe rock in that huge sea of anger and hurt and and sadness - is the absolute fierce love that you and Thor and Henry have for that little girl.

Hang on, Sara. Hang on tight. I love you.

gulp. i have a huge lump in my throat, but wanted you to know immediately how very much i loved this entry.

tears.. this is so beautiful and sad.

I just read over this again. I was thinking about how fortunate Little R was to land in such loving arms. Such a lucky and loved little lady. As a teacher, I have seen what happens when people aren't saved and it is heartbreaking. Your love and honesty will always be her life raft. I feel compelled to say 'Thank You' for some reason. Thank you. XO (I didn't put a heart because I knew that would throw you over the edge).

Just found your blog and had to say how much I appreciated your honesty, both to R and to the world. Like Stephanie's comment, I had a similar childhood - it is the people who take care of us that are our "mothers" even if they aren't officially. Good luck and thank you for sharing!

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